Lock Panda Up

The motherland cheers as another rampaging rodent is thrown into a cage. Panda has been found guilty of several crimes against the motherland, thus she has been arrested. Now it is up to us to arrest her animal accomplices who definitely plan to free her from jail.

Panda is the biggest bully in HF (please don’t eat me this isn’t slander I’m not capping). She bullies everyone, even Maya, our lovely commander (at least until we coup her).

Not only did Panda threaten to tackle Maya, she also insulted Maya’s big hands. So what if Maya has big hands? At least she’s not one of those left-handed monsters. That would be much much worse than some big hands.

Panda doesn’t just bully people, she kills people as well. Well, more like threaten, rather than kill, since she keeps failing.

How could Panda do such a cruel thing? Threatening another commander? Panda really wants to overthrow the leaders. Maybe she wants to start a chocoist revolution. This is why we must lock her up. We cannot let such a revolutionary person go free.

Panda’s worst crime isn’t her threats, however. It’s her ignorance to greatness

Panda must be crazy or lying to say such a dastardly thing. Who in their right mind would say that Elp isn’t the greatest? That my friends, is what being wrong looks like. It’s as if Panda is trying to speak the truth but she is having as much success as Choco has with women. Panda must be locked up right away. Her crimes against our motherland will not be tolerated.


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