Welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping! I’m writing this from HF prison 🙂
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This week we’ll be continuing from last week’s post about how to steal food from the staff lounge, the most guarded part of HF (after the stamp assembly room, of course). If you followed last week’s guide, you should now be standing in the staff lounge, waiting desperately for this series to update so you can finally escape. I know it’s been an entire week and you’re probably regretting listening to my advice in the first place, but first, a small disclaimer. If you happen to end up in jail for breaking and entering and placing carrots over all of the security cameras, please don’t sue me 🙂
For those of you who are still inside the staff lounge, read very carefully. Slip out of the staff lounge as quietly as you can. Grab your extra can of PUFFLE-AWAY SPRAY and use it on the large blue puffle in case it starts to wake up. If you came prepared, you should have either a skateboard or an air horn with you. I’ll go over what you can do with either.
First: the skateboard. The obvious use for this one is to bang it on the walls to make noise and then skate away in style, but if that doesn’t appeal to you, consider leaving it in the lounge as a peace offering.
Second: the air horn. If you happen to run into someone while you’re escaping, simply blow the air horn in their face and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Repeat until the person chasing you curls up on the floor cursing at the inventor of the air horn.
Next, locate the computer system in the pina colada room. Enter the password Helping Friends and click on → users → Barney → server settings → security camera → staff lounge. At this point, you’ll see a few options. Find the one that says “purge footage” and click on it. It is imperative that you don’t click on the other option that says “pineapple festival.” Trust me on this one.
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Before I tell you the next step, you’re probably wondering why I’m in prison. I was sort of caught a little bit trying to escape from the staff lounge, and after an unsuccessful attempt to rally the puffles to fight off the leadership, I might’ve been put in jail with no chance of bail.
No need to worry, though. I have an escape plan already in motion. By next week’s post I’ll be writing from another country, where Help Force can never find me 😉
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Moving on. After deleting the footage, it’s time to escape the building! Grab your stolen snacks and jump out the nearest window. If you don’t like jumping through glass, you can just open the door and walk out (though honestly, that’s not as dramatic.) Once you’re out in the open, find a nice bush to live in for the next 4-6 weeks as the staff track you down for theft, breaking and entering, and attempting to pass as a puffle in order to escape arrest.
No need to worry, though. I have an escape plan already in motion. By next week’s post I’ll be writing from another country, where Help Force can never find me 😉
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That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.
