Hello Helpers! I have here for you an unauthorized story, written several months ago, dusted off, and posted for your amusement. Proceed with caution.
This will make sense once you start reading
Pride Month ’23
Posted on June 28, 2023 by Snowy
I hope you’ve all been having a pleasant Pride Month! Whether you identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community or not, Help Force is open and welcoming to all kinds of people, except for those who wear shoes. And visitors. And Fahrenheit users. And Apple users. And those who like strawberries. And—
Return of Hot Chocolate | Finale
Posted on June 24, 2023 by Jo
Comrades! Citizens! Brothers and sisters! Soldiers of our glorious, gracious motherland! The treacherous occupation of Hot Chocolate by the Army of Club Penguin has ended. Hot Chocolate has been liberated and returned to its rightful owner, the Help Force. Let us celebrate the glorious, gracious liberation of the most precious and valuable land we own.
Titan Quest Review | Greek God Edition
Posted on June 21, 2023 by zenishira
What’s up, my brothers and sisters? Zenishira here!
When I was a child, I hated reading. My father always nagged me to stop playing computer games all day and actually become well versed in literature. However, he did not recommend the usual writers of my country (which are haunting twelfth grade highschool students in their finals exams).
He told me to read “The Legends of Olympus”, a book in two volumes that encompasses the mythology surrounding Greek gods and heroes. I absolutely loved the sheer insanity of Greek Mythology, did you know that Zeus had an itchy forehead and that he wanted someone to hit him with an axe? That’s how Athena got born, fully clad in war armor. Also as a child, I loved playing RPGs, specifically Diablo, I love its gloomy atmosphere, as you venture down the caves you fight stronger demons. Now, combine Greek Mythology and Diablo together and you get…
Down With The Commanders
Posted on June 17, 2023 by Jo
Snowy, Rooboo, and Maya are the brilliant leaders and teachers of the army, the great strategists of tournaments, military commanders, and guides of the Help Force. Despite having these qualities that every leader strives for, they are not fit to be commanders. Although these individuals may seem innocent at first, they are hiding dark secrets which will now be exposed to the world. Note, this post is entirely satirical please don’t kill me blame Scorp uwu.
5 Ways To Obtain Smuggled Food
Posted on June 11, 2023 by Jo
We’ve all had that day where we desperately needed food but there was just none around. After Snowy returned to HF’s leadership, there has been mass famine spreading throughout our glorious motherland. The only way for the poor helpers to get food is to smuggle it in. Here are 5 ways to obtain smuggled food.
Pizza Tower Review | Topping Frenzy Edition
Posted on June 7, 2023 by zenishira
What is up my brothers and sisters? Zenishira here. Who’s hungry for pizza? I know that I am, as a staff member I do not get any food other than the crumbles I find under the table. Recently, I’ve heard of a place called Peppino’s Pizzeria, but when I called to order they did not pick up. Apparently there has been some incident, some giant pizza with a face threatened to destroy Peppino’s Pizzeria with a giant laser. Poor Peppino is alreadt in debt, he didn’t need that guy. He has to hurry up, chase Pizzaface and climb the dangerous…
How Can We Reclaim Hot Chocolate
Posted on June 3, 2023 by Jo
The land of Hot Chocolate was unfairly stolen from us by the Army of Club Penguin quite some time ago. Nell, the judge at ACP’s invasion of Hot Chocolate, who recently joined ACP, was bribed by Calgo into giving Hot Chocolate to ACP. With the outbreak of war, it is finally our time to strike. We will reclaim Hot Chocolate.
