Local Staff Member Launders Millions of Ayan Hats

Choco is once again back in the spotlight due to recent allegations of money laundering. Choco has a notorious criminal record, with the number of crimes he has committed being well above what we can count on our flippers. Cannibalism, stealing food, and having a skill issue in regards to women are just a few of his crimes.

On the 30th of March, 2022, Choco along with a Nervous hippo set up a plan to launder millions of Ayan Hats. The plan was for Choco to transfer his illegally gained funds to Nervous and then for Nervous to gamble the Ayan Hats to make them untraceable to the original crime.

This was the duo’s first of 2 money laundering attempts. The first attempt was low risk, with Nervous only gambling just over 10k bot money. The second attempt would be much more severe, much much more severe.

The hippo requested all of Choco’s stolen bot money and Choco gave it to her without question. With 1.2 million Ayan Hats in hand, Nervous risked it all. I do not know what Choco did to get that amount of Ayan Hats, but our experts suggest that it was likely from extorting other staff members and embezzling funds. In fact, Choco is the entire reason why HF does not have any insurance. For years, Choco had been embezzling money that was supposed to be used to buy insurance. Choco had racked up an estimated 240 million Ayan Hats from this. I have no idea how Snowy and Wynn did not notice that 300% of HF’s GDP was being spent on “insurance”.

I shall be filing a complaint to the FTCGT&TCGGM office to see what can be done about this. I recommend that Choco should be banned from eating chocolate for a week and that the hippo be forced to come online again.

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