Unemployed

It was yet another glorious gracious day in our glorious gracious motherland. However, the day was not so glorious gracious for a certain Junior Staff. Our protagonist, Amealyah, recently moved into the Junior Staff living quarters. Since she is the protagonist, this story is about her.

Amealyah stared outside the window with a blank expression on her face. She was in a narrow corridor, which somehow looked bigger due to its elegantly painted walls furnished with an assorted selection of penguin artwork. The bench outside the Commander’s office was not occupied by anyone else other than her. However, she had been waiting for an audience with Snowy since almost an hour now.

Mantiuxx seemed to sense her growing impatience, and remarked, “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure Snowy will let you in any moment now~”

“You’ve been saying that for the past hour!” Amealyah responded.

Suddenly, a bell chimed. “Okayyyyy you’re in!” Mantiuxx beamed at Amealyah. Amealyah sighed and stood up. As she opened the door, a blinding glow emanated from the Commander’s office. Dramatic fanfare started playing as she walked inside, and a voice, that sounded suspiciously like Elp, boomed, “Behold, the presence of our mighty Commander, Snowy!”

Snowy awkwardly stared at Amealyah, her 4 foot 1 inch frame resting on a huge black leather chair. It was the kind of chair that had a thicc back support and too many wheels.

“Apologies for the… idk what to call it anymore. I swear I didn’t start this, our previous commanders just installed this and never gave me instructions on how to turn it off.”

“It’s alright, Snowy.”

“So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“Well, it’s been a week since I joined, but you still haven’t given me any work, nor given me food. I’m starting to get bored now! Please, do something about this!”

“Oh don’t worry, I have the perfect future planned out for you, Amealyah. Just a second…” Snowy reached for a remote, and pressed a button. A large presentation screen rolled down on the wall behind her, and a chart suddenly came to life on it.

“As you can see, the unemployment percentage in our server has been drastically increasing recently. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, 60% OF THE STAFF HAVE NO DUTIES ASSIGNED!”

“Oh my. How come I never noticed this before.” Amealyah replied sarcastically.

“I know right!” Snowy was too lost in her excitement about her plan to notice the sarcasm. “So to solve this issue, I have come up with an amazing plan. I have created a new role just for you, Amealyah. You will be our new Unemployment Manager!”

“Sounds respectable. What will I have to do?” Amealyah questioned.

“You will be in charge of assigning duties to the staff members who do not have anything to do.”

“Huh? But how am I supposed to do that by myself-”

“I have a solution for that too. WHERE’S THE CURRY MUNCHER- i mean, where’s the tech support?” Snowy glared at the door as she said this. The door burst open and a tall, skinny guy wearing a tie with a weird knot rushed in. Once again, the dramatic fanfare played, and the Elpish voice boomed, “Behold, the presence of our mighty Commander, Snowy!” Amealyah observed that Ayan jumped in surprise at this, and started to suspect that Snowy had lied about the fanfare being installed by the previous commanders.

“Hello Ayan, long time no see.” Amealyah tried her best to not laugh at his tie.

“Hi, yeah! So I spent all night coming up with the algorithm for this thing, the computer you requested for is finally ready Snowy.”

“Thank you Ayan. Amealyah, this computer will help you allocate the duties for the staff members. All you have to do is feed their resume into the machine!” Snowy beamed.

“Thanks, that sounds convenient. So I guess I’ll go get started… where am I supposed to do this gig btw?”

“Oh you have your own office, it’s just down the hall, so I can pop by whenever I need to give you updates.”

Amealyah settled into her new office and pressed a button that informed Mantiuxx she was ready tor receive her first client. A girl with too many golden chains wrapped around her neck walked in.

“Ah welcome Javi. Why am I not surprised that you are my first client.”

“WOW. I am surprised, Amealyah. Gambling. Is. A. Legal. Job!” Javi exclaimed.

“No it’s not and you know it to. Resume, please.” Amealyah quickly fed it into the machine. The machine made some weird processing sounds, and within a few seconds emitted a beep. The screen came to life, and Amealyah read the words displayed on it with a confused look.

“Hmm. It says here that you are to be employed as a Unemployment Manager.” Amealyah stared awkwardly at Javi as she said this.

“Oh hello Amealyah, Javi!” Nervous smiled as she walked in. “So you gonna give me that job I was promised? I hope it won’t take too much of my time, I need to complete my daily slap list too yk!”

“Of course, don’t worry Nervous. Just give me a few seconds to feed your resume to the computer!”

Amealyah stared at the screen once again. She smacked the computer hard. The screen defiantly refused to change.

“Alright Nervous, it looks like you’re now employed as our newest Unemployment Manager.” Amealyah grumbled.

“YAY ME AND ZIPPO ARE WORKING TOGETHER!” Javi exclaimed.

The sun was starting to paint the skies hues of orange and pink. Snowy finally let out a loud sigh as she finally finished one of her million daily Commander tasks. Suddenly, her computer chimed. She stared at the screen in disbelief, and ran outside her office.

“Oh are we going on that date early today?!” Mantiuxx asked in joy.

“Nah we’re cancelled for today Manti, see ya tomorrow at work, I got something to do!” Snowy exclaimed as she ran away.

“Ah.. okay, I guess, I’ll go finish that Beacon then…” Mantiuxx replied to an empty corridor.

Snowy burst into Amealyah’s office and yelled, “WHAT AN AMAZING JOB YOU’VE BEEN DOING, OUR UNEMPLOYMENT RATE HAS DROPPED TO 0% IN A SINGLE DAY! THIS CALLS FOR A PARTAAAYYYY- wai-” Snowy stuttered her sentence in disbelief as her eyes registered the room she was in.

“Oh hello Snowy” a group of 15 staff members chorused. Some of them were sitting at the window, sipping pina coladas. Some of them were holding each other’s collars, as though just interrupted in the middle of a fight. Amealyah was holding on to a glass of water and a packet of paracetamol for dear life.

“What’s happening here?” Snowy asked, although she subconsciously understood what was happening.

“IT IS HELL. AND I DON’T MEAN THE NORMAL STAFF WORK SNOWY. IT IS PURE HELL!” Amealyah replied. “THE GODDAMN MACHINE KEEPS ASSIGNING EVERYONE TO UNEMPLOYMENT MANAGEMENT!”

Snowy let out a loud sigh, and mumbled something that sounded like, “Goddamn curry muncher”, but could’ve also been, “Guacamole”.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about this anymore. Since the unemployment rate has fallen to 0%, you all aren’t needed anymore as Unemployment Managers, so you’re all fired!” She beamed as she said this. “Commanders to the rescue as always! Have a great night, people!”

Before Amealyah could say anything, Snowy disappeared in an explosion of blue and yellow. Amealyah sighed. She did not know what she was doing with her life. She did not know what she was doing for dinner tonight either – Snowy hadn’t paid her for her day of work yet. Oh well, the cafeteria existed just to be raided. And thus Amealyah’s not so glorious gracious day came to an end.

Scorpion Demon

Help Force Admiral

Your Answer (no email required)

%d bloggers like this: