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[BREAKING] Glorious Commander Not So Gracious

Scorp’s Office, Zipline – What a drastic turn of events! The evidence submitted by a generous, anonymous contributor has brought some gruesome details to light that directly involve the only US Commander of the Help Force, Snowy. The glorious commander is not as gracious as we thought she is! I will be covering this whole situation with live updates to provide you with nothing but the truth!


This is a live coverage timeline, with the latest updates at the top.

As you might or might not be aware, Snowy is the Commander of the Help Force army. It has been more than 5 months since she was promoted to this supposedly glorious gracious rank. But even before she became the Commander, she received a much more important rank – Website Blogger Council. The people involved in the Council are the true illuminati behind the Help Force and the Club Penguin army community in general. Obviously, this requires them to be highly qualified, in touch with both grass and curry, and smarter than the average Club Penguin army leading idiot.

However, following a generous, anonymous act committed by one of our many contributors and well-wishers, it has come to light that Snowy might be glorious, but isn’t quite so gracious. Take a good look at the screenshot provided below:

It is obvious that despite being a member of the Blogger Council for so long, Snowy does not know how to log in to the website!

Comments from our generous, anonymous source

For those who do not know much about blogging, all you need to know is that Snowy’s original method of logging in is something even people with 0 IQs wouldn’t do, because of how stupid it is. In fact, its even a known rule in the Bloggerverse that you aren’t allowed to do that, and discovery of this practice will result in confinement in the dungeons. So the person in charge of making sure the rest of the bloggers follow the rules herself is not aware of them!

I decided to reach out to Snowy herself regarding this incident to try and give her a chance to defend herself. However, this is the responses that I got:

Scorp: We have recently received news that despite being a web head you do not know how to log in to the website! What do you have to say about this?

Snowy: *blocks*

After I threatened her with some unspeakable things, she finally unblocked me. So I resumed the interview:

Scorp: Would you attribute this situation to the lack of curry in your diet, or to the lack of ketchup in your diet? Or is it due to something else that you ate without thinking?!

Snowy: Write the post and lose your kneecaps *blocks again*

It is obvious that Snowy does not wish to defend herself. Silence is equivalent of agreement to the crime.

However, that is not all that we are here to talk about today. Following the contributors’ tip off, I decided to investigate into this matter even more and found further damning evidence against the so called glorious gracious Commander. A few days ago, I asked Snowy to help me with a minor task that involved searching for a font called “broken” so I could use it in future Help Force graphics. However, Snowy straight up refused to do this simple task for me, but provided no reason for her behavior:

I now realize that the reason behind this is that Snowy has the superpower of foresight, and she has been hiding this ability from us in order to deprive the Help Force of such an amazing power. She knew that I would be writing this post, and from the very start she was working to undermine my efforts. She even tried to revoke my editor access so I couldn’t write this post, however, I am too powerful for such pathetic attempts to work.

A few days ago, the woman also posted this article in the CP Army Headquarters website.

How scandalous is that! The leader of the Indian Force, openly writing blasphemous articles against curry! Snowy did this knowing that she would get called out if she wrote this article on the Help Force website. She knows that no one gives a fuck about what CPAHQ writes and publishes, and that she could publish her thoughts in total anonymity if she wrote it there!

I would like to conclude this post in the best way possible: 

Glorious Commander Not So Gracious, WHAT WOULD YOU DO??

Scorpion Demon

Help Force Second In Commander, Blogger Council Member, #5 Golden Helper (Despite not being here for the first voting process), Proudly Wearing the Elp is the Greatest medal of honor, Reporter of Truth. 

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