The Raid

“Manti, that’s the last time I’m going to steal food and get caught. We’ll need to be more careful next time,” Nervous said slyly.

“There’s going to be a next time?” Mantiuxx asked, confused. Then he grinned. “I’m in.”

There was a next time. I remember their next time particularly well. Despite being retired, I tend to travel through the shadows of the glorious gracious motherland, keeping an eye on any big events. Nervous’ plan was quite meticulously thought out. Mantiuxx did his job well, he almost managed to surprise me with the level of perfection he did his job with. Of course, food is the only thing that could’ve motivated either of them to bring such amazing performances. Sadly, both of them forgot about one thing – the Lice knows it all.

Their next time was a historic moment in the Help Force. Ayan found it relevant enough to include it in the history page of Help Force. The duo got caught. Then, Elp banished them to the mines for life. It has been five years since the incident. Legend says that till this date, they continue to recruit, albeit on an empty stomach. As for the other staff members, that day was the darkest day of their lives. Elp decided that the staff knowing about the basic idea of food is what caused them to commit such crimes.

Since then, all food had been removed from the motherland. No more silly little coconut and corn and cookie and ketchup takeovers. No food related chaos in chat when people were supposed to be recruiting. That probably sounds harsh to you guys, who have never known starvation. However, I find it worth mentioning that within two weeks of implementing this rule, the Help Force rose to #1. Within a month, maxing below 40 became such a rare occurrence that there would be staff meetings to find out the discrepancy that caused the low max. Within two months, the Help Force was dominating the leaderboard by 20 points, and no army, not even the Roblox and Minecraft recruit spammers, could match their level. The Legends Cup was a piece of cake for the mighty powerhouse that the Help Force had turned into. For once, there was no Overtime?? and both RPF and IW lost to HF 3-0. Wynn and Snowy were crowned as HF Legends, and Ayan wrote an editorial about how awesome he was.

The Staff completely forgot about food during this time. At first there was some resistance. However, it was pointless to try stealing food – there was none left. Even those fucking weirdos that call themselves ‘vegans’ couldn’t eat their grass as Snowy decreed that grass wasn’t important to a Club Penguin Army staff member. The motherland now had an evergreen cover – of artificial grass and trees, the kind that you find on football turfs and theme parks. The money for this redecoration came from all those Tournament nitros and CPA competitions that HF won. Ayan even managed to buy himself a new turban made of sapphires. Meanwhile, Elp invested all of his share into a giant Doomsday machine that kept counting down, except that its timer reset every single day to a different timing. So it was never clear when the entire server would get wiped. It was a completely brilliant stroke of his mad genius.

Through the shadows, I observed this glory and prosperity brought along by the eradication of food. I knew that it wasn’t right. The staff deserved food. I wouldn’t have admitted it during my 2ic days as I had free access to the admin buffet so I didn’t really care about the non admins. However, it was now obvious that without food, there was no fami- LMFAO WHO AM I KIDDING. There was no family in HF anyways, food just satisfied their hunger and made them look less miserable than they actually were.

However, I knew that it was pointless to try to fix it. That, and the fact that I had absolutely zero interest in organizing some sort of Giant Food Raid for the sake of someone other than myself. And then, on October 5th, 2022, something happened that changed my lookout towards this whole scenario. Something that led to what I call The Greatest Food Raid Ever.

Scienfoegengi Demogneonar

Former Second in Command, Current Idiot

2 Responses

  1. amazing

  2. No Overtime, interesting. Love the post btw
    What happens on Oct 5th, 2022…?

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