Nap Segment Insights

Welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping! This week’s topic is the fact that Elp hasn’t fed the staff in two weeks and everyone’s starting to mass hallucinate.

The vending machine hasn’t been stocked in so long I think weeds are starting to grow in it. Someone tried to send a puffle out to find food a few days ago, but we haven’t seen the puffle since. Either it got lost or it found food and doesn’t want to share.

You’re probably wondering why Elp isn’t feeding us. The answer is that someone blew the entire $3 budget on cat food (we don’t even have a cat???) and apparently there was no emergency fund. Things are looking grim.

On the bright side, one of our rats, Sir Scruffy Whiskers Spiker Fang the second (Boba for short) learned how to play fetch. We’re trying to teach him how to unlock doors to get into the commander’s lounge. One day.

Since there’s nothing to eat but Elp’s weird ramen cookies, playing with the rats has become a popular pastime. We’re unsure how smart they are, but so far they’re not showing any sign of intelligence. The smartest thing they’ve done is spin themselves in circles until they fall asleep. Truly a nap segment icon.

There’s nothing in the vending machine but weeds, which lead some people to suggest growing our own food. This seemed like a great idea at first, but it turns out you actually have to *take care* of your plants or something. Apparently they need to be watered every day and given proper sunlight and whatever. Needy plants. At least the rats get to play in the failed garden now.

Hopefully Elp will feed us again soon. Who knew that surviving on ramen cookies was even possible? Send help pls.

That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.

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