ZIPLINE, Editor’s Table — Welcome back, Helpers, to the newest edition of The Help Force Beacon! After an exciting week of events, we bring to you HF’s weekly dose of entertainment!
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The HF Beacon
Posted on March 21, 2021 by HF Beacon
Nap Segment Insights
Posted on March 20, 2021 by Snowy
Welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping!
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If you’ve been following this series (of course you have), you’ll know that two weeks ago Maya and Wynn broke me out of HF prison. I was there because I didn’t want to starve, and apparently in HF that’s a crime. Cool. I might’ve been breaking and entering, too, but honestly there’s so many rules. How am I supposed to know them all? They can’t all matter, right? That’d be crazy.
(Just to be clear here, I’m not suggesting that you break the snack rules in HF. I am encouraging you to break them.
Currently we’re living on the road like a couple of wild pigeons, if the road was underwater and the pigeons were government spies at their headquarters in the Bermuda Triangle, exactly 16,800 pina coladas below sea level. You didn’t hear that from me, by the way.
We’ve been on the run for a little while now, but no staff have tried to catch us yet. Our theory is that the uno game that started three weeks ago is still going on. They could just end the game and go after us, but death before dishonor and all that.
I kept a log for the first two weeks of our escape. Why for only the first two weeks, you may ask? Well, the answer is that I left the notebook at a random gas station in Canada and no one felt like going back for it. You can read the important parts of the log below:
Log, Day 1: Cookies are being rationed out. Theoretically they could last a week, maybe two, but I believe I may lack self-restraint.
Log, Day 2: Morale is high. We had the foresight to steal a bag of stamps on the way out and plan to sell them on the black market. Cookie rations are lowering.
Log, Day 5: Apparently stamps aren’t one of the things sold on the black market.
Log, Day 6: Today we jumped into the back of a train. No idea where we’re going. I think there’s a puffle following us around.
Log, Day 7: The train took us to another train station, We boarded another train and the same thing happened. Our plan is to keep stowing away on trains. There’s definitely a puffle following us.
Log, Day 10: At a different train station now. Lots of people. Cookies are running out. We may need to sneak back into the staff lounge for supplies.
Log, Day 11: Maya is down to her last three lollipops. This is the lowest we’ve been at. I’m beginning to wonder if we’re going to starve.
Log, Day 13: Nothing important has been happening, other than us deciding to go back to HF and quietly pretend like nothing happened.
Log, Day 14: We’re out of cookies. I don’t know where to go from here. We’re stopping at a gas station. Must remember not to leave notebook behind.
Quite the adventure, eh? We’re still debating whether or not to go back to HF, but maybe we could twist things in our favor. How would you feel about replacing the current staff team with cookie vending machines?
That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.
HF Patrons of Patreon: Rooboo
Posted on March 18, 2021 by Maisie
Welcome one and all to a brand new mini-series! Here I will be bringing interviews with the amazing donators of the Help Force Patreon Page! These people have donated some amount of their own money towards helping the HF community by funding its projects!
So, without further ado may I present my first fabulous guest and interviewee HF Marshal Rooboo!!
CP Knowledge – Hydro Hopper
Posted on March 17, 2021 by PinguMaliz
Welcome to the first post of the brand new series CP Knowledge. This is a series where I will talk about every single minigame on Club Penguin, starting today with Hydro Hopper. The posts will include how you play the game, its history, stamps, trivia, high scores, and a personal review of the game! Hope you enjoy it!
Keeping Up With CPRewritten – March 2021
Posted on March 16, 2021 by Wynn
Welcome everyone the the second edition of Keeping Up With CPR! If you are craving fresh news and sneak peeks directly from the game’s owners, you came to the right place! We will be updating you each month about everything that happens on Club Penguin Rewritten so you are never going to feel lost again!
HF Insight: Portal to Warfare
Posted on March 15, 2021 by rooboo
Hey Helpers! Welcome to HF Insight!
Table of Contents
- What’s been Happening
- Week in Short
- GOTW Talk and Statement
- Army Statistics for the Week
- HF Insight Insider Information
The HF Beacon
Posted on March 15, 2021 by HF Beacon
ZIPLINE, Editor’s Table — Welcome back, Helpers, to the newest edition of The Help Force Beacon! After the third birthday of our army, we bring to you HF’s weekly dose of entertainment!
Continue reading
Faces of the Force – Rsnail
Posted on March 14, 2021 by Wynn
Howdy Folks! As always on Sundays, we come with a fresh new FotF edition for you to enjoy! If you are not aware, Faces of the Force is a series where we interview active members of HF to learn more about who they really are. Each Helper has a chance to be invited! Let’s dive into today’s post and give a warm welcome to the next FotF… unforgettable Rsnail!
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Nap Segment Insights
Posted on March 13, 2021 by Snowy
Hello and welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping! This week we’re going to have an exclusive post to celebrate the three year anniversary of Help Force. Congrats on aging, HF!
To honor this special day, we’re going to go over some Help Force history that may or may not be accurate.
A Brief History of Napping in the Help Force
As many people know, the kava nap began circa early 2019. The leader Kavacado was infamous for her “short little naps” that could last as long as 12 hours. Kava naps are a highly contagious disease that included the following symptoms:
Eating avocados
Falling asleep as soon as you join vc
Sudden JTS appearance
The need to start a coup against a cow
Speaking in Russian
As you can see, kava naps are incredibly dangerous to have. I advise you all to take the following precautions:
Lmao I get paid for sponsoring kava naps you’re outta luck.
In case that you do find yourself infected, it is advised by authorities at the WHO that you self-quarantine for 2-3 weeks, as well as follow these at-home remedies:
Drink caffeine if you find yourself unable to stay awake
Get yourself into a sleep schedule
Don’t try to search for “kava naps” on the WHO website
Meditate and do yoga when you wake up
I mean it, don’t search for kava naps on google either
Relax your mind at night by taking a warm shower
What are you, a cop? Stop searching for kava naps. What’s wrong with you?
At first, the kava nap was seen as something very difficult to cure. Now, with the advancements of science, we know that kava naps are entirely incurable. If you have this disease, my condolences. It was nice knowing you, sort of. I’ve made lots of enemies. It’s hard to know who’s reading this.
Moving onto the next part of our history lesson. The earliest record of a nap seg dates back to 06/07/20. Scholars disagree on the details, but it’s certain that group napping took place. That moment was historic, paving the way for modern nap segments.
Today’s nap segments are a far cry from the primitive ones done many months ago. For one thing, we have me. It’s debatable whether that’s actually an improvement, but at least we have nap segs almost every night. The campfire, the marshmallows, the secret possum rituals that only the US time zone knows about. The staff sneaking around, stealing cookies and getting executed. It all adds to the ambiance, y’know?
There are many predictions for future nap segments, but a popular belief is that one day we will be allowed to host them in peace, away from the AUSIA mods who never sleep and therefore don’t understand nap segments. Yeah I’m calling you guys out. Come and find me if you can.
In conclusion, nap segments are old.
That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.
Gamers Knowledge – Among Us
Posted on March 11, 2021 by SkillzHasSkillz
What is up Among Us’ians? There is a tutorial among us. Make sure to read till the end for a cookie and a few memes!
