Chocoist Manifesto

For years, our commanders have had complete control over the food supplies. They have on several occasions, withheld food from the staff, causing famine across our glorious, gracious motherland. I am calling all helpers to unite to stop these food-hoarding bandits. We have nothing to lose but our hunger.

The bourgeoisie have been hoarding food from the helpers of the Help Force. While we starve, the commanders live in their luxurious offices, where they keep all the food for themselves. Recently, the commanders have seen our suffering, so they have started giving out food for attending events as a way to force us starving penguins to attend. The amount of food given out is not enough to live on, forcing people like Choco to cannibalise their fellow helpers.

We must take back the power. Take back the food. Take back our Wynnie word perms. All food enjoyers unite. Through the power of Chocoism, we can right the wrongs and move forward into a hunger-free utopia. Chocoism follows the principle that food should be shared equally between the helpers instead of being hoarded by the Commanders. With these 3 steps, we can take control and live our food-filled dreams.

Step 1 – Coup

We must take back power from our corrupt commanders. They have kept food from us for too long. We will all go on strike, refusing to mine sapphires or mop the floors. This will destroy our economy, although one could argue that it was already destroyed. Once the economy is in ruins, we can stage our coup. We will march on Des and Roboo’s offices and eliminate them. Once they have been disposed of, we will occupy the offices. We will then burn all the documents, and then acquire all of the food that they hoarded.

Step 2 – Temporary Dictatorship

To ensure stability in our glorious, gracious motherland, Choco will be put in charge temporarily. He will protect us all while the Chocoist utopia is being set up. As supreme dictator, Choco will be able to publicly execute any visitor, ally, or helper. While these powers may seem extreme, they are necessary to establish a Chocoist state.

Step 3 – Establishing Chocoism

This is where Choco steps down from supreme dictator. We will then take over the means of food production and distribute the food equally among the helpers. Say goodbye to hunger, because Chocoism will eliminate that. We will all finally be equal, not including visitors of course.

 

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