Snowy’s Desk Hidden Underground – Good evening, Helpers. Normally, I come to you with an expose post that reveals the dark underbelly of Help Force. People (Elp) committing tax evasion, larceny, and other heinous crimes in order to tighten their dictatorial grip on the server. However, today calls for a different type of post. The anti-expose post, if you will.
Elp is broke. In the past we would see him attempt to buy de-lice-ous votes through bribery, targeting those who were poorer. But now, he himself is in need of a bribe to get back on top.
Diwix’s bot money accumulation appears totally normal to me. I do appreciate how he kept my account off the leaderboard, in order to avoid suspicion. Isn’t he great? And this greatness, especially, is not one Elp participates in. To reiterate, he is broke. Dead broke. And so the unthinkable came to pass: the de-lice-ous awards 2026 were completely unrigged. Just good, honest votes from the people. Disgusting.
Diwix’s net worth could buy the rest of the Top Ten three times and still have money left over. The wealth disparity now seen in HF is so extreme that it has no real-world comparison. No sane person would ever allow this to happen, so why do we tolerate it now? It’s been a while since we had a good coup, just saying.
Tragically, Elp could not buy his way this year. This wasn’t due to Elp not trying. When I asked an anonymous Helper if Elp had reached out to her, this is what she had to say:
I myself was quite shaken by the unexpected turn of events. When I asked Elp for comment on his financial situation he only said this:
In order to raise money, Elp decided to organize his own Super Bowl. Of course, the Help Force has hosted many events in the past. Nothing unrelated to Club Penguin, for some reason. Many festivities were planned for, including a food budget, music budget, and even a halftime show. Predictably, miscommunication between event organizers led to failure after failure. The only food available was the raccoon rations left on the garbage to keep them from rebelling. On the day of the event, a fatal error was found:
“I thought you said you hired the The Beatles?”
“No, I said I hired Beasto.”
Dubbed Super Bowl Numero Uno, members of the army were invited to show up in jerseys and compete in the inaugural event. Chaos ensued when the Americans showed up ready to play football and everyone else showed up ready to play football. A compromise to no one was made in VC, where all players were subjected to listening to Bad Bunny on repeat.
The utter failure of the HF Bowl led to a greater money defecit, putting Elp into great debt. How did he even lose his money in the first place? And what will he do to get it all back? I do not know the answers to these questions. Stop asking.
Snowy
Help Force Trustee
Filed under: Snowys Nap Segment Insights, Web Series Tagged: | Delicious Awards, Diwix, Elp, Satire, Snowy
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