These Beauty Tricks Will Turn You from Zippo to Hippo

Have you ever wondered how our resident grandma, NervousZippo, stays beautiful despite her old age? Nervous has been hiding her beauty secrets from us for too long. Today I will be revealing 3 secret techniques to help you stay tasty.

A coconut a day keeps the dirt away

It is well-known that coconuts are effective dirt repelling fruit that keeps you clean. The saying, “a coconut a day keeps the dirt away” has been a known beauty tip passed down from generation to generation for centuries. Nervous would tell you that this trick only works on hippos, but don’t listen to that zippo. This trick works on humans, penguins, and chocolate bars, turning anyone into a dirt-free vessel. All you have to do is eat a coconut every day. With this secret trick, anyone can turn themself from a dirty zippo to a clean, beautiful hippo.

Elp is the greatest

In our glorious, gracious motherland, we worship Elp as the greatest. In doing so, Elp rewards us with a fraction of his beauty, turning us into gorgeous beasts. This is the reason why Help Force soldiers are the hottest soldiers out of all of the armies (except maybe ACP). Take, for example, Choco, the chocolate bar. Choco used to be an avid Elp hater, saying that Gary is better than Elp.

In recent times, Choco has changed his view on Elp, accepting him as the greatest. Due to this, Choco became hot. This hotness came mostly in temperature, not attractiveness. As a result, the town of Hot Chocolate was formed. While Choco has not received women from believing that Elp is the greatest, he has received fame and beauty in a different way. Believing that Elp is the greatest will definitely turn you from Zippo to Hippo.


When you simp for others they simp for you

It all started when George Washington signed the Declaration of Simp dependance. In the declaration, he declared that simps depended on each other for survival. To ensure this survival, he cast a spell onto the world. This spell made it so that when someone simps for you, they look more appealing, making you more likely to simp for them. This was to make sure that the simps,  as an endangered race, survives the purges of 2023. You can abuse this power by simping for everyone. If you simp for everyone, then everyone will be forced to see your beauty. This is guaranteed to turn you from Zippo to Hippo.

If you apply these 3 tips to your life, you will 100% become as gorgeous as NervousZippo. You just need to eat a lot of coconuts, say that Elp is the greatest, and simp for everyone you meet. As for the 3rd tip, it would be best to try that out on Choco to make sure that it works. If you are a woman, his dms are open for you to try this simping trick on him.



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