The Help Force

ZIPLINE – The Burned Remains of Snowy’s Office: Another year, another 365 banned visitors. We rang in the New Year only two weeks ago, and with that we also saw the beginning of this year’s De-lice-ous awards. What most of you DIDN’T see was the blatant bribery and blackmailing that goes on behind the scenes with the admins every single day. I’m here to expose the rigged voting system and to demand justice.

The De-lice-ous awards are run by one of the most famous con men in Help Force, Elp, otherwise known as the Tax Collector, the All-Seeing Lice, and The Greatest. Elp is well known by the staff for being strict, forcing them to wear his blue shirt and salute every time they see him or risk starvation. Elp has a long list of crimes alleged against him, including but not limited to:

• Banning visitors with reason
• Banning visitors with no reason
• Withholding food from staff
• Tempting staff with food and then not giving it to them
• Overcrowding the mines
• Under crowding the mines by banning everyone
• Mass pinging to “cause chaos”
• Starting an underground gambling circuit that Javi disappeared in

Despite all of these crimes and more, Elp has never been revoked of his powers in Help Force. Instead of being promoted demoted to Helper, he was given Trustee and permission to host the De-lice-ous awards. One of the most appalling categories, Best Curry Muncher, has recently come to my attention because of its unlikely popularity. Wynn was the first one who made me realize how prestigious it is.

Wynn, despite not being a lifelong curry muncher, was desperate to win the Best Curry Muncher award and prove to the others that she was the best Indian. There was only one problem: she needed more votes. She found her first victim in bot commands.

In spite of her constant Dank Memer use, Javi was deep in gambling debt and desperate for a way out. Wynn knew this and approached her with an offer she couldn’t refuse.

After sealing the deal, Wynn added the bot money to Javi’s account. Javi lost all of it immediately in blackjack, but she still cast her vote for Wynn. Because I knew that Javi is often the victim of bribes, due to her bot money addiction, I approached her to see if she had any evidence of Wynn rigging the votes. She showed me this:

After seeing this I went to Elp and showed him the evidence. To my surprise, he only had this to say about it:

I had no idea how deep Wynn’s blackmailing and bribery went. If it went all the way up to Elp, I knew it had gone all the way to the top in HF. I only know of one way to combat this, and thankfully the staff are always looking for an excuse for one; a strike. There was only one issue, and it was that Wynn is no longer a leader. Therefore, my suggestion to the staff is that they spam the DMs of the Trustees and demand that either the De-lice-ous awards have some integrity or the server be deleted.

As for the Best Curry muncher vote, I’m sure Elp will come to his senses and ban all the curry munchers instead of celebrating them. The results of the voting are yet to be seen, but if Wynn wins anything you’ll know that it was #Rigged.

Filed under: Original Stories, Web Series Tagged: | De-lice-ious Awards, Elp, Elp is the greatest, Rigged Awards, Satire, Wynn