Band Force

– Story by Scorpion Demon

It was a glorious gracious day in our glorious gracious motherland. Or so Elp said. The mines were being exploited. The grass, and everything else, was close to dying. All felt normal. However, the people were dissatisfied. Rumours were starting to spread that there was a lack of entertainment. Their dissatisfaction was such, that it grew into a mass emotion. The commanders Rooboo and Desireus tried their best, but they soon succumbed to this emotion as well.

Soon, the waves of discontent reached the dark cave where our creator lay in his unconscious slumber (definitely not caused by overconsumption of alcohol with his college buddies).  As the waves hit his brown curry muncher skin, his eyes opened and he yawned. ‘Huh, wtf is this shit about’, he thought as he stretched. ‘Hmm, I know how to fix this.’ He started walking towards the motherland, with a straight back, confident eyes, and a wide stride, a man with a purpose, a man with an idea.

The first building he stopped by was the car rental company. “Welcome sir, what vehicle would you like to rent today?”, the courteous desk guy asked.

“We have supercars, flying cars, coconuts, lots of exciting options!”

“I would like to rent a scooter.”

“Excuse me?”

“A scooter.”

“Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Idk, I’m just used to it. It’s fun to drive.”

The desk guy kept cringing internally as he handed the keys to their only scooter to the creator. He eventually died of cringe two hours after the creator left the building.

‘Where should I begin? Oh, I should probably go the place where the people suffer the most.’ So he drove to the cafeteria. When he entered the building, he felt a wave of dejection blast through his entire being. Everyone in the cafeteria was sitting at their tables, looking malnourished enough to appear on UNESCO’s advertisements to donate money to help underprivileged African children (please do donate something to charity if you are not broke). The creator cleared his throat and yelled, “Fear not, folks! I, the creator, am here to solve your entertainment issues! I will do this by singing a song for you!” He began singing the opening lines of Backstreet Boys’ I want it that way, but Simon Cowell rudely interrupted him, and said, “Yes we know that we are your fire, Ayan. But your voice, albeit heavenly, won’t do us any good. Why don’t you try taking this to the next level?”

The creator thought to himself, and suddenly had another brilliant idea. He started walking towards the motherland, with a straight back, confident eyes, and a wide stride, a man with a purpo- and then he slipped on a banana peel. He picked himself up, dusted himself, and -purpose, a man with an idea. He rode his scooter to Desireus’ Commander suite.

“Desireus, I command you to join me on this crusade to entertain the people of our motherland!”, he said, as he entered the room. “Okay!”, Desireus said. Tokyo Drift played in the background as they talked. “We will both form a band of musicians and host a concert, you’ll be the lead singer with me!”, he said. “No!”, Desireus said. “I never asked for permission, we are doing this. Let’s go!”

He next went to Elp’s office. He knocked on the door. “Enter, scum.” Elp answered. He entered the office. “CURRY MUNCHER SCUM?!”, Elp bellowed. An exaggeratedly evil version of Beethoven’s Sonata No. 5 played in the room.

“Hello to you too, Elp. I want you to be the drummer for my band.”

“The Great Lice has denied your request.”

“But you are the most destructive person I know, and I need a destructive drummer.”

“Why, thank you for flattering me. But you must go find someone else. Try seeking out Jo, I heard rumours that he destroyed Earthly Godly’s nuts recently.”

“Thank you, Elp.”

However, the creator decided to skip on visiting Jo, and instead came to my house. I wouldn’t exactly call it a house, tbh. It was just a tree with a hole in its trunk. The popular song “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift was playing, but when Ayan knocked on the door, the song switched to “Highway to Hell” by AC DC.

“Scorp, will you play guitar in my band?”, the creator asked.

“Of course. I live for playing guitar. Everything I do is so I can play guitar. I never deny an opportunity to play guitar.”

Desireus sighed.

So the three of them made their way to Rooboo’s Commander suite. The creator summoned a bass guitar. He then used the bass guitar to smash the door of the suite open. It was an exceptionally tough bass guitar. Rooboo was in a partially nude state, looking like he just stepped out of the shower. The skunky smell of the room blasted through the very being of the creator as he entered. Scorp’s guitar untuned itself because of the smell. Desireus fainted. Rooboo screamed. The creator tossed the bass guitar at him, and instructed, “Play it.”

Rooboo started playing the bass guitar, the riff to Queen’s Another One Bites The Dust. The creator stopped him after one bar and said, “Now try that with your voice.” Surprisingly, Rooboo’s voice was even more bass than the bass guitar. “You are hired”, the creator said, and walked out of the room. “But whyyyyyyy….” Rooboo cried and followed him.

The four of them sat on the scooter and rode to the creator’s final destination, Jo’s house. It had a huge sign on the roof, that featured a ban hammer and a bar of chocolate. Jo opened the door before any of them could knock. A Minions’ song was playing inside.

“How can I help you, Mr. Creator?”, Jo asked mockingly.

“I heard that you are quite a destructive person. I want you to be the drummer for my band.”

“I’m not sure you’re ready to have a drummer, O Creator.” Jo cackled.

“Why so?”

“Because you brought a scooter to carry a drum set.” Jo replied.

“You underestimate the scooter, just give it a chance.”

So the creator fit five band members, an indestructible bass, an electric guitar, microphones, and a drum kit onto the scooter, and rode to the center of the motherland. Here, he summoned a concert stage out of thin air, and set up an alarming number of Marshall tube amps for the performance. Next, he took to the mic, and yelled at all the Helpers to gather around. And thus, the first ever concert took place in the Help Force motherland.

What songs do you think the band should definitely play? Comment your song recommendations! Or DM them to Scorpion Demon on Discord.

Filed under: Original Stories Tagged: | Band Force, Concert, Help Force, HF, Scorp, Scorpion Demon