The Help Force

ZIPLINE, Scorp’s Office – Welcome to the Veterans Lounge, brought to you by the Cheesiest Demon, The Scorpiest Mac…. MAISIE AND SCORP! The Help Force has been alive for more than four years now. In the these four years, so many people joined our army and left their mark on it. We know them as veterans, or “boomers that been here too long.” Each week we will be interviewing our valued veterans, where they look back on their leadership, sharing memories, advice and secrets (like how to retire)! This week, I had the pleasure of interviewing the literal manifestation of chaos. He shares a priceless secret at the very end of the interview!

Everyone knows who Elp is, and if you don’t then you need to climb out of your hole. So I’m gonna do an informal intro to the legend. I first met Elp in 2020. Back then, I used to work in a Club Penguin media organization called CPAH, and for a certain column, I interviewed several staff members of the Help Force. It was impractical to talk to so many people about so many questions in a group chat, so I invited them to a server. Let’s just say that the amount of chaos Elp caused left me incapable of interviewing anyone for a while. In fact, I decided to retire that particular column after the interview.

Insider Leak of Elp’s Lounge

I didn’t get the honor of seeing the greatest Help Force Commander again until April 2021. This happened when the Red Ravagers and the Help Force joined hands to declare war against the Silver Empire. An alliance gc was formed. This gc was made up of the Help Force and Red Ravagers leadership, and that is where I truly encountered the chaotic force that is Elp. He was even proclaimed as the literal manifestation of chaos. However, this time around, I came to realize that behind the overall antics, Elp is a truly good person. Although, I can hear him complaining because I used the word “good” instead of “greatest”. His dedication to the Help Force is truly awesome, and his loyalty is unparalleled.

Speaking of greatness, Elp is one of the three Help Force Commanders who won the Summer Bash tournament against the Pirates. He was a part of the leadership trio that included Ayan and Spotty, known as the Triads. Later, he also became a part of the Quadrata leadership, that involved Ayan, Vedant and Nell. Elp could be considered as the mastermind behind the Pina Colada Olympics. PCO is the only time the army community has gathered together, without disputes, to do nothing but play Club Penguin without battles. In the darkest of dark times, he often put himself on the line to serve as a real guardian of the Help Force. He also created the Greatest Shop!

It’s location remains a well guarded secret to avoid food raids.

Outside of his outstanding achievements as a Commander, he is probably the best hype machine Help Force ever saw. Unlike the eccentric hype machines the community usually witnesses, Elp somehow manages to raise hype and joy at the same time. If you consider starvation as a joy, that is. For real tho, I’ve never seen anyone rally the troops as effectively as Elp does it. Till this date, there is no one who challenges that Elp is the greatest. No one who survived trying to challenge it, of course. I’ve spoken enough, it’s time for the interview.

Hello Elp! You need no introduction, but for the peasants who haven’t learned of your greatness yet, would you like to introduce yourself?

There are people who don’t know me? Off to the mines.

Awesome! Who would you say was the biggest influence on you during your first stint as a staff member?

When I first joined, two people: Attacker and Bestpenguin. Later on, when I became staff, mostly from Spotty and the primary curry muncher Ayan, with his… persuasive blackmailing skills

Speaking of blackmailing skills, how did Ayan manage to convince you to return as a Commander for a second time?

Classified information where only me and him know, formed with a blood pact that we must carry such weight til the day we die, to our graves.
That, and that I could cause chaos

I’ve always wanted to know what is the true reason behind your love for causing chaos

Causing chaos? I am the “impersonation of chaos”, as someone once said referring to me. Chaos is an art, it’s not meant to harm, rather to enjoy the discordia going on. Of course, this art could be also used as a weapon, whereas in the wrong hands could cause great devastation.
One of my most proud acts was when I caused chaos just by typing

Could you provide some examples of the greatest chaos you’ve ever caused

My favorite creation was back in CPO, with the help of BananaBxr, we caused raids and with it the Squidmits were born. Ever since they’ve become a symbol of chaos and an event in HF was also done themed with that.

Then you also have Juanita day and overtime?? day

All festivals seem to have their origins linked to you 😀

Not 100% my creation but I made some adjustments and promoted them

What was the thing you found most difficult to do in HF, just in general and also as a commander?

Take decisions that benefits the army, over my personal interests or relationships. The army comes first. At least, that how it was in my time.

What advice would you give to the troops who are aiming to become staff one day?

Don’t even try to question me. Don’t try to do anything foolish. The Lice knows it all. Elp is the greatest. Even if you think this could be pointless because it’s a virtual penguin army, you can actually learn life lessons that will help you irl. And don’t ask for food.

What was the best life lesson that you learned from HF?

Elp is the greatest

What was the best piece of advice that anyone ever gave to you in HF?

Fight for glory

What was it about HF that made you care so much about it?

The community, the chaos, the parties, the fun times I’ve had. Two situations that I remember I enjoyed the most were the Sponsorship takeover and the HF VC parties that we used to have

Can you share the secret of retiring successfully?

Plan your retirement beforehand. No need to fake death. Prepare a fake passport and after your retirement party go straight to the hair salon and change your look. With your new passport and your new name, go to the airport and take the first flight that takes you to a continent on the other side of the world. Don’t forget to buy the house beforehand and to avoid suspicion, change your phone, social media and interact with the locals so they don’t think you’re a spy

–

The secret is out now (hi maya!) but I doubt the staff members will be allowed to retire that easily. Elp’s wisdom is definitely quite valuable, and much better compared to the usual hypocritical bullshit that people puke in the interviewer’s face. See ya in the next edition!

Scorpion Demon

Help Force Web Head & Second In Command

Filed under: Help Force CP, The Great Veteran Interview, Web Series Tagged: | Column, Elp, Elpiojo, Help Force, HF, Interviews, muchwatts, Scorp, Scorpion Demon, Veteran, Veteran Interviews, Veterans Lounge, Web Column, Web Series