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Desireus the Coconut Man

Coconuts have been the new source of food for the staff for the past few months, joining the ranks of ketchup cookies and lollipops as the most revered food item in the Help Force. But have you ever wondered how Desireus got the coconuts in the first place, along with how and why he uses them so often? Well, keep reading to find out more about Desireus and his coconuts.

Night had just fallen over the island, and Desireus was starving. His thoughts ran wild, thinking about the many ketchup feasts he would have had, had he not been staff. For the first time since he got elected as staff many months ago, he wanted to quit, solely because of the food he was missing out on. He solemnly walked to Snowy’s office to tell her his thoughts, and upon reaching, he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. “Snowy doesn’t usually leave her door open, maybe she went to do something and forgot,” he mumbled to himself. He decided to go inside and wait for her, but he noticed that there was a giant bag in the corner that had a slightly sweet smell. Curious, he quickly checked the bag to see a giant amount of coconuts. Desireus was shocked! He didn’t know that Snowy had all this food when the entire staff team was dying of hunger. When Snowy returned, Desireus quickly confronted her.

“Snowy, why do you have all these coconuts?” Desireus asked in a slightly confused tone. “I was going to quit because we haven’t gotten food for days now, and you have all these coconuts and didn’t tell us?

“W – well, um, u – uh”, Snowy stuttered, nervous to tell the truth. “Alright, I’ll tell you why I have all these coconuts, as long as you promise me that you won’t quit, you’re irreplaceable, Des.”

“Fine, I won’t quit, it was a hard decision anyways. So, what exactly drove you to get this many coconuts? ”

“Well you see, I ordered too many coconuts, I just wanted 5 for a few coconut cookies as a treat for the staff,  but I accidentally placed an order for 50 coconuts. I can’t use them all, you want some?” Snowy asked.

“Sure, why not, I don’t see any harm in taking a few,” Desireus replied, and eagerly took 40 coconuts with him.


A crowd began to form around Desireus as he dragged the bag of coconuts behind him. Everyone was attracted to the smell of food, but Des quickly shooed them away. “Guys I know you’re hungry, but I can’t give you all of the coconuts at once, I’ll dish them out evenly,” Desireus said reassuringly to the staff members. The requirement for getting coconuts was to salute first, and everyone did so eagerly. This went on for some time in secret, because Desireus knew that if any of the other higher staff members knew that he was giving out food, he would have to spend a few days, if not weeks, in the mines. Unfortunately, the day came when he was discovered.

“Des, what on earth are you doing?” Scorp yelled, while Desireus was in the middle of giving a coconut to two junior staff members. 

“Oh, hi Scorp, I was simply giving these guys a coconut that I found on the ground. I was going to tell them to dispose of it because we don’t need food in our gracious motherland.”

“Yeah right, you’ve been acting suspicious for the past few weeks, and I finally caught you, er, coconut handed. To the mines you go!”

Desireus knew not to complain, as that would get him into more trouble. He trudged off to the mines as the staff members watched him go.

“You can’t send him! We need the coconuts! Justice for coconuts!” everyone chanted. Scorp ignored them, thinking that they would stop complaining after a day, but the need for coconuts was so great that the staff members threatened to strike if they got no more coconuts from Desireus.

“I don’t know why, but coconuts just taste better whenever he hands them out, it even makes me more motivated to recruit,” Bolb told Scorp. “We need the coconuts.”


Everyone agreed, there was something different about those coconuts, and they wanted more of it. Scorp decided to look into why everyone loved coconuts so much now, and tasted one of the coconuts he confiscated. “It does taste amazing!” Scorp said in shock. “Why, it’s a plain coconut, yet it tastes exceptionally good.” He thought about the fact that the staff morale has gone up in the past few days, around the time that Desireus got the coconuts from Snowy. He visited Desireus, who was in the middle of mining some coins for everyone to gamble.

“Des, what have you done to the coconuts? I’ve tasted the ones you’ve been handing out, they taste so unique compared to other coconuts. I thought Snowy simply got some good ones, but when I tasted one of her coconuts it tasted like a typical coconut,” Scorp asked, still confused about their exceptional taste.

“I’m not sure myself, it just feels like coconuts are my calling, like my true purpose is giving coconuts to everyone.” 

“Maybe your coconuts are like how ketchup cookies taste so good whenever Snowy decides to make them, despite it being a horrible combination,” Scorp mused. “I think I know what’s happening, you’re free to leave, Des.”

Desireus shrugged and left, wondering why Scorp had a sudden change of heart. Meanwhile, Scorp decided to ask one of the retired commanders why certain staff members had their unique foods that tasted better whenever they prepared and shared them with everyone. Scorp went to Nell, who was sitting in a circle of fire, enjoying some broccoli. 

“Hey Nell, something’s been bothering me.”

“What is it, Scorp?”

“Well, you know how Snowy has her ketchup cookies, Maya has her lollipops, and Diwix has his curry? Why does their food taste so good whenever they make it and share it with the members, but not when you say, order it from a store and someone else hands them out? Even Desireus has coconuts as his main food, it’s just coconuts and they taste so good!” Scorp replied. The mystery around the staff member’s food was getting to him.

“Oh that’s simple Scorp, every staff has their special food, and whenever they find the right one, the Help force magic is bestowed upon them, making their food taste exceptionally good. That’s why nothing else can compare to a staff member’s unique food.” Nell said, grinning.

“Now that I think about it, that actually makes sense, thanks Nell, I’m going to give Des his coconuts back,” Scorp said, glad that this was finally solved.


From that day onwards, Desireus used his coconuts for everything. He used it for coconut ice-cream, he used it as a treat for the staff, he even used it as a weapon in some cases. Everyone rejoiced when they learnt that coconuts were the new Help force food, and it was revered ever since.


3 Responses

  1. COCONUTS!!!!!!!


  3. Javi has just earned herself a monthly membership of coconut supply

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