[SATIRE] Totally Legit Interviews Special SUS Edition

Welcome to the second edition of Totally Legit Interviews, which is indeed a Special SUS Edition. The topic is exactly what it says in the title: a completely legit, unedited interview with the legendary SUS Queen who says she never has gotten bullied and would like to get bullied anytime. Hope you enjoy it!

The SUS Queen? You must be thinking who that is, wondering how a person would reach such sus heights to be rewarded with such a title. It is none other than our very own Maya!

An Intro to Mayathefirst :mayasalute:

If you haven’t met Maya yet, that’s probably because you are AUSIA and have a very very healthy sleep schedule. She’s one of the US Admirals in our army. :salute:
If you take out a lollipop and see someone running towards you, then that’s definitely Maya.:mayalollipop:
If you play Among Us and catch the SUS Impostor, that’s definitely Maya. :amongusgrrr:
If you see me bulling someone with a pink name, that’s definitely Maya. :nobully::nobully:
See someone eating cookies with ketchup, ain’t that sus? That’s definitely Maya. :noketchup:
Maya to Help Force is like Neo to the Matrix, fulfilling the SUS Prophecy :prayge:

In Summer 2020, she was rewarded with the title SUS Queen for her brave effort to help the Helpers (Yes, I did say help the Helpers intentionally) smuggle cookies from the Staff kitchen.

Here is the interview for you guys! :mayarunning:

Vedant: Hello Maya, how are you?

Maya: I am sus.

Vedant: Yes we know you’re sus, but how are you doing today?

Maya: I am doing sus

Vedant: I- okay so how do you feel being the 3ic in HF?

Maya: I am sus.

This is the actual interview, I was just messing with y’all

What’s a good interview without some casual sus huh? :mayaisbigsus:

Vedant: Hello Maya, good day to you! How are you doing?

Maya: Hi Barney, I’m doing good, hbu?

Vedant: I’m doing fantastic thanks for asking! The usual most asked question again is, how did you find Help Force?

Maya: So, a friend and I were on CPR and we found you guys at the beach doing a detective event or something. So we followed you guys until someone told us how to join lol :ono:

Vedant: A detective huh? I guess that’s so SUS for you too! Been the 3ic for long, how does that feel?

Maya: It feels nice, getting to see and help more with events and battles. It has helped me really see a different view of how armies run and how much work you guys do to get everything going.

Vedant: How different was it when you were Marshal/General and now that you’ve had the experience of being a part of the High Command?

Maya: I would say when I was General and Marshal, we didn’t have a lot of things to organize for events, just some dms, leading and then announcing and pinging, but now it has changed a lot since then.

Vedant: Great to hear your journey in HF till now! Moving onto some lighter topics, how did the story of Maya and SUS originate?

Maya: Oh no, I don’t even remember how this whole thing started, but I think it was because when us majors use to play Among us every night. I would be one of the first people to get killed, and I think everyone just started calling me sus for it :flop:

Vedant: Yeah you’re definitely an OP SUS gamer. Do you believe that you’re The One who completes the SUS prophecy?

Maya: No- because I’m not sus smh

Vedant: Maybe you’ve fulfilled the prophecy by now.

Maya: How- :sadfrog:

Vedant: Were you in any other army before HF?

Maya: No

Vedant: We all know you’re secretly the Leedur of the SCP, the SUS of Club Penguin S/M Army, troop-stealing members from the HF to your army and make them your personal chefs who cook food for you all :hmm:

Maya: I-

Vedant: Sources told us that you have a big house and rich enough to buy food for all of Help Force. But mainly, the concern is with the fact that you have a cruise ship big enough to take HF on a tour around the Zipline estate?

Maya: I don’t have a big house, food or a cruise ship smh. We don’t even get fed around here besides some of Snowy’s ketchup cookies :snowysketchup: 🍪

Vedant: Do you have anything more to add without being a lil’ sus?
Maya: Can I get some food for doing this? If not I would like to let everyone know snowy said she would make us some ketchup cookies soon :elmo:

That’s all for today! Thank you for reading, and remember to DM Maya the word “sus” if you see her in the chat! Let us know what was your reaction after reading this post with the comment section below :coolsect:
If you’d like to be interviewed or suggest an interview you can dm Vedant#9090 on Discord. See you next time, folks!

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