Nap Segment Insights: Rat Infestation

Hello and welcome back to Nap Segment Insights! In today’s very special post we’re going to go over one of Help Force’s most common pests. No, it isn’t visitors: it’s rats.

This violent criminal is accused of 73 crimes in over a dozen North American countries.

Some might wonder how the rats came into Help Force in the first place. The answer is very simple: nap segments. We light the campfire, we sing the songs, we fall asleep, we get woken up by the family of rats that lives in the kitchen somewhere. (If our exterminator is reading this please help, we promise to pay you this time).

The rats are attracted by the cookies we bake over the campfire and come sneaking out of the mines, desperate for any crumbs. Due to the lack of food, staff have become agile warriors and fight to defend even the tiniest morsels. Other staff who are old and no longer willing to fight place bets against Javi on who will win over that night’s cookies. Javi always wins. This is because she cheats.

Another reason for the rat infestation could be that I leave out blocks of cheese in the server each night. This is probably not the reason. Even in the unlikely scenario that is it, what am I supposed to do? Not leave out blocks of cheese? Are you insane???

While it’s tempting to sacrifice a staff member each week to appease the rats and stop them from harassing us, it probably won’t happen. Staff are voting to make a union as we speak. I’m not sure what kind of union, exactly, but I know how it’s going to end: with a few banned visitors, Javi demoted, and Jo as the unquestioned lord and savior of Help Force. Still an improvement from the current situation.

Where were we? Oh yes, the rats. I’m forming a deal with these rats as we speak, and I have decided to switch teams. You may now refer to me as “Ratwy.” If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

That’s all for this week’s insight! I hope to see you all at the glorious regime of the rat industrial revolution taking place as we speak. In Cheese We Trust 🧀


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