Totally Legit Interviews: Javi

Hi Helpers, and welcome to Totally Legit Interviews! In this series, I interview an unsuspecting Helper and then publish the interview with some… revisions. My first victim is Javi.

Everyone in Help Force knows who Javi is. Her gambling single-handedly keeps the economy going, she spreads the SUS disease to keep things interesting, and her tax evasion skills even rival mine. I woke her up in the middle of the night and bribed her with a cookie to get this interview. Below you can read it, which is completely unedited except for the parts I changed. Enjoy!

Welcome to the interview Javi! How are you doing today?

I’m ok Snowy, thanks for asking :prayge:

Let’s get right to business, shall we? You recently confessed to committing several war crimes in Minecraft. What inspired this?

Well, it was an accident, really. i just wanted some totems of undying, and decided to start a raid. in the process I burned down 5 houses, killed 20 villagers in 4 separate villages, and I still haven’t gotten my totem of undying :sadcri:

Accident, I see. That’s what they all say. Would you call yourself a menace to society?

I definitely would. I kidnapped several villagers in the process of restoring villages, to the point it ended up being a cycle of restoration. My pet wolves ate a few while I was slapping some villagers to go in a certain direction, and I called everyone sus while in villages :prayge:

Interesting. Enough about your criminal activities, let’s move on to some HF questions. I recently got news that you’re going to be demoted for being too sus. Thoughts?

I shouldn’t have downloaded Among Us, I got so addicted to the point i was the imposter in real life :sadcri: Look what happened to Maya after she became sus and caught the sus disease, and now that’s my fate, to be demoted 😭

Yes it is. Other than Maya, who else have you infected with the sus disease in HF?

I think Desireus is the other main person, and to clarify, Maya gave me the sus disease simply by existing. When she got better and I played Among Us again for the first time in ages, she caught it from me and spread it to all of HF. You’ll see the signs in the next few weeks, such as: spamming amogus, and spamming the word sus

Blaming Maya for spreading the sus disease again, even though we know you’re an Among Us addict. Interesting. Let’s say one day you’re given commander, and you’re allowed to bring anyone to lead with you, including retired staff. Who are you picking and why?

I’d bring in Elp because Elp is the greatest

Answering of your own free will I’m sure. For my final question, I recently discovered an offshore bank account connected to you with millions of ayan hats in it. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was a tax evasion scheme. Comments?

Uh, there’s no offshore bank account, now if you excuse me i need to send some snitching jr staff to the mine- i mean recruit people.


In conclusion, Javi is getting banned. Thanks for reading, Helpers, and remember to comment below if you enjoyed the post!


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