Hey there! Helpers! Today we logged for a three-way battle between our branches water and fire and the Red Ravagers. Thank you Snowy, Joe, Wynn, Maya, Amy, ROOBOO, Lyd, Jayden, and Nelly for leading! Great job today, Helpers!
Max: 36+
[EU/US] The Great Theft Mission Two
Posted on April 17, 2021 by Snowy
Hey Helpers! Today we logged onto CPR for the second Mission of The Great Theft Robbery! We did a few quick tactics and then played two fun games. Thank you Maya, Snowy, and ROOBOO for leading! Good job robbing, Helpers!
Max: 40+
[AUSIA/EU] UP, UP AND AWAY!
Posted on April 16, 2021 by rooboo
Greetings Friends and Troops! Today we logged onto CPR – Ascent for a very amazing yet fun event! Led by Snowy, Barnito, and Joe, we had a really spectacular time waddling and touring many rooms of the island! Thank you all for attending and till many more creative and different events yet to come!
Max: 34+
How Would You Help
Posted on March 24, 2021 by Jayden
Hey Helpers! Welcome to the newest edition of “How Would You Help”. A series dedicated to bringing you through the eyes of the HF Staff Team. Tricky questions are asked to our staff, whether it be about Recruiting, Events, or even CPRewritten. I ask questions that should hopefully give you a little insight on what the staff of HF do!
Nap Segment Insights
Posted on March 13, 2021 by Snowy
Hello and welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping! This week we’re going to have an exclusive post to celebrate the three year anniversary of Help Force. Congrats on aging, HF!
To honor this special day, we’re going to go over some Help Force history that may or may not be accurate.
A Brief History of Napping in the Help Force
As many people know, the kava nap began circa early 2019. The leader Kavacado was infamous for her “short little naps” that could last as long as 12 hours. Kava naps are a highly contagious disease that included the following symptoms:
Eating avocados
Falling asleep as soon as you join vc
Sudden JTS appearance
The need to start a coup against a cow
Speaking in Russian
As you can see, kava naps are incredibly dangerous to have. I advise you all to take the following precautions:
Lmao I get paid for sponsoring kava naps you’re outta luck.
In case that you do find yourself infected, it is advised by authorities at the WHO that you self-quarantine for 2-3 weeks, as well as follow these at-home remedies:
Drink caffeine if you find yourself unable to stay awake
Get yourself into a sleep schedule
Don’t try to search for “kava naps” on the WHO website
Meditate and do yoga when you wake up
I mean it, don’t search for kava naps on google either
Relax your mind at night by taking a warm shower
What are you, a cop? Stop searching for kava naps. What’s wrong with you?
At first, the kava nap was seen as something very difficult to cure. Now, with the advancements of science, we know that kava naps are entirely incurable. If you have this disease, my condolences. It was nice knowing you, sort of. I’ve made lots of enemies. It’s hard to know who’s reading this.
Moving onto the next part of our history lesson. The earliest record of a nap seg dates back to 06/07/20. Scholars disagree on the details, but it’s certain that group napping took place. That moment was historic, paving the way for modern nap segments.
Today’s nap segments are a far cry from the primitive ones done many months ago. For one thing, we have me. It’s debatable whether that’s actually an improvement, but at least we have nap segs almost every night. The campfire, the marshmallows, the secret possum rituals that only the US time zone knows about. The staff sneaking around, stealing cookies and getting executed. It all adds to the ambiance, y’know?
There are many predictions for future nap segments, but a popular belief is that one day we will be allowed to host them in peace, away from the AUSIA mods who never sleep and therefore don’t understand nap segments. Yeah I’m calling you guys out. Come and find me if you can.
In conclusion, nap segments are old.
That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.
[EU] Branch Battle – Team Water vs Team Fire vs Alpha vs Echo
Posted on March 12, 2021 by Wynn
Hello everyone! Today we logged onto CPR for another Branch Battle with ACP Divisions! Team Water, Team Fire, Alpha and Echo put up a great fight at Studium, Iceberg and Snow Forts! The battle was led by Joe, Wynn, Maya, Snowy, Nell and Rooboo. Thank you everyone for coming and thank you ACP for a great event!
Max: 29+
Nap Segment Insights
Posted on March 6, 2021 by Snowy
Welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping!
Blogger of The Month Jan & Feb 2021
Posted on March 1, 2021 by Jayden
Congratulations to Wynn for being February, 2021’s Blogger of The Month!
The HF Beacon
Posted on March 1, 2021 by HF Beacon
ZIPLINE, Editor’s Table — Welcome back, Helpers, to the newest edition of The Help Force Beacon! After an branch battle between teams water and fire, we bring to you HF’s weekly dose of entertainment!
Continue reading
Nap Segment Insights
Posted on February 27, 2021 by Snowy
Welcome back to Nap Segment Insights, a weekly series dedicated to everyone’s favorite type of seg: napping! I’m writing this from HF prison 🙂
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This week we’ll be continuing from last week’s post about how to steal food from the staff lounge, the most guarded part of HF (after the stamp assembly room, of course). If you followed last week’s guide, you should now be standing in the staff lounge, waiting desperately for this series to update so you can finally escape. I know it’s been an entire week and you’re probably regretting listening to my advice in the first place, but first, a small disclaimer. If you happen to end up in jail for breaking and entering and placing carrots over all of the security cameras, please don’t sue me 🙂
For those of you who are still inside the staff lounge, read very carefully. Slip out of the staff lounge as quietly as you can. Grab your extra can of PUFFLE-AWAY SPRAY and use it on the large blue puffle in case it starts to wake up. If you came prepared, you should have either a skateboard or an air horn with you. I’ll go over what you can do with either.
First: the skateboard. The obvious use for this one is to bang it on the walls to make noise and then skate away in style, but if that doesn’t appeal to you, consider leaving it in the lounge as a peace offering.
Second: the air horn. If you happen to run into someone while you’re escaping, simply blow the air horn in their face and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Repeat until the person chasing you curls up on the floor cursing at the inventor of the air horn.
Next, locate the computer system in the pina colada room. Enter the password Helping Friends and click on → users → Barney → server settings → security camera → staff lounge. At this point, you’ll see a few options. Find the one that says “purge footage” and click on it. It is imperative that you don’t click on the other option that says “pineapple festival.” Trust me on this one.
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Before I tell you the next step, you’re probably wondering why I’m in prison. I was sort of caught a little bit trying to escape from the staff lounge, and after an unsuccessful attempt to rally the puffles to fight off the leadership, I might’ve been put in jail with no chance of bail.
No need to worry, though. I have an escape plan already in motion. By next week’s post I’ll be writing from another country, where Help Force can never find me 😉
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Moving on. After deleting the footage, it’s time to escape the building! Grab your stolen snacks and jump out the nearest window. If you don’t like jumping through glass, you can just open the door and walk out (though honestly, that’s not as dramatic.) Once you’re out in the open, find a nice bush to live in for the next 4-6 weeks as the staff track you down for theft, breaking and entering, and attempting to pass as a puffle in order to escape arrest.
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That’s all for this week’s insight. Curious about anything nap or snack related? Comment below and I’ll write all about it! Until next week, comrades.
